I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I FOUND THE LEGS
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
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