we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
