Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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