1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
