so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
