just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
our cab driver is having phone sex.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
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