Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
