I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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