ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
