Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
