I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
