i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
no you cant smoke seaweed
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
