physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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