I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
