The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
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