the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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