That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
