yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
she peed on how many people?
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize