Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
