either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
