everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
