Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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