i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
