I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
bring money and cleavage
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
