No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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