Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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