Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize