You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Randomize
