I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
