I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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