I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
