toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
