You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
