So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
