@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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