Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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