let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
