I just saw a hot homeless man
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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