This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
