i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
