i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
