Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
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