To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
