just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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