I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize