I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
