i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize