I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Randomize
