Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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