Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize
