census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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