Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
