piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
