So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I puked a lego.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
