Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
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