I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
You've changed since you got that strap on
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Randomize