Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
