Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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