drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
do nipples grow back?
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
