why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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