look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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