At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
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