My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
