My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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