Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
