I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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