I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
